


new age

by dialsoap



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Apologies, Gen, M/M, Pining, did not edit this cannot bear to read through it again so, eternity is a very long time, just thinking about things...., what the heck is it like to be immortal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dialsoap/pseuds/dialsoap
Summary: Thanatos getting caught up in his head while on the job. How do you keep track of an immortal existence?Sometime between the game starting and before the sort-of-ending... mild spoilers.
Relationships: Thanatos & Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	new age

He has a lot of work to do. 

He always has a lot of work to do, but right now in particular, and he’s not one to exaggerate. It’s been a long, harsh winter, war rampant across the countryside, even if he doesn’t have to pick those ones up himself war means death of all kinds. Death in droves.

The mortals were always different, of course, and the ways they went changed with them, but the end of it was always the same. He took them - soft as sleep, but permanent this time, and then he led them on their way. There were so many of them, of all kinds. Young and old, some ready and some less so, he caught glimpses of their lives, sometimes they went surrounded by people dear to them, sometimes they were all alone. He’d heard the tail end of final words, seen lovers hold each other for the last time, heard the puff of their last breath… He could feel their fear, could tell a good deal of them hated him, he felt no guilt nor pity for them. But they felt so much it was almost incredible. Every one of them was catalogued, with the cause in ridiculous, loopy script on a long illustrated list.

Thanatos, as much time as he spent in the world of mortals, could only take it in short bouts, the people, the noise, the static electricity in the air, the sun burning overhead, threatening to scorch him. So different from the safety of night. He tried to count in his head, gauge how long he’d have to be there.

Time was strange for them, impossibly long, long enough that whole lifetimes seemed fleeting. So nebulous that it wasn't going anywhere, there was so much of it. It was all he’d ever known and all he’d ever know. Occasionally it would blur together like there’d been a wrinkle in the thread of fate. He’d realize the war up top was a completely different war from the one a hundred years ago or that a song he’d thought popular hadn’t been played for quite a long time. He’d even have a conversation he was certain he’d already had, and be left unsure if he was mistaken or if he really had told Hypnos to stop sleeping on the job _that_ many times.

He liked keeping track of it all, staying organized, doing things with purpose. What oriented him best were his memories. The really, truly memorable ones. He thought of particularly witty remarks, a genuine laugh, a brush of fingers close to his - making him reel back, an unfamiliar reflex since he’d never had to fear injury. Red in a sea of black, dark and mysterious and lonely. And then green, like the fields in the spring. Like flowers in bloom, lush prior to having their lives snuffed out by frost.

He could remember the days before him, without that radiant, noisy child among them, and then Lord Hades had seemed in an even fouler mood. But something about the last epoch or so felt like it had been polished anew, painted in vivid color. There was the time before when the queen had been there, tending to her garden. He’d been young, thousands of years old but young. He and his brother had been closer then, and they’d hide away under his great cover together, shrouded in darkness. There was the time pre- and post- haircut, and he remembered the feeling more than anything else, the weight off his neck, being able to see clearly. And then there was the time with him, the Prince of the house, the time that he'd gotten so used to it seemed like that's how the rest of eternity must be.

But something had changed, again. Something they wouldn’t come back from. It felt like Zagreus had taken their existence and split it in two - the time when everything was right, when he filed files improperly and his father chided him, when Thanatos could give him a look from across the hall and get a chuckle in return, and the time after. When he’d left.

He wasn’t even sure if it was the leaving he was mad about. He knows Zagreus, impulsive as he is, wouldn’t do such a thing without cause. But to not tell him at all? Something that important? That final? 

And worse - everyone knew before he did?? He could understand telling Mother Nyx, even if it didn’t bring him any comfort. She’d raised Zagreus herself, and he knew he hadn’t been able to even get anywhere without her influence. What drove him mad was - _Hypnos?_

Was it that Zagreus couldn’t trust him? That had stung. More than he cared to admit. It was that he hadn’t even wanted to talk to him about it, when they used to tell each other everything. Thanatos had never kept a thing from him, except the one. He knew he was always diligent about his duty and tried to be a model employee but did that short, laureled idiot really think him so uptight that he would betray him? 

He’d really left, up and went without a word, and he hadn’t even wanted to say goodbye? Couldn’t wait until he got back to the house? Truly, it had been an especially long stretch before he’d been back to the house then, but then something had pulled him. He’d sensed it on arrival. A deep, inherent, _wrongness_ in the air. It felt emptier than usual, despite the line of shades down the hall and the mess of bones piled up by the walls. He’d heard the whispers among the shades _“Did you hear? He’s left - forever!” “Forever?” “The Prince?”_ , andhe’d been struck still by disbelief. But then he’d thought of how Zagreus had always been a smidgeon out of place. He had always been too energetic, too talkative - especially when they were meant to be working, always on his feet, he was always so alive. Impossible to hold on to. 

Thanatos couldn’t believe, all this timehe’d thought, possibly, Zagreus had known what he’d felt for him. And foolishly, that he might have felt as much for him in return. And then after a few more millennia, he’d finally be ready to do something about it.

Then he’d gone and done it and made a mess of everything. Thanatos had been too confused to find him at first, too tangled up to even know what to say to him. And then when he was up on the surface and felt a familiar presence closer than what seemed possible it tugged at him, and then he could feel it snuffed out, shoved deeper down again like his own heart. Finally, he’d bitten his tongue, maybe he’d grant him this, at least he could be the one to say goodbye, be decisive about it.

Finding him had been easy, he simply followed the broken pots and skid marks, but he wasn’t prepared for the state of him. Thanatos had heard the rumors but he hadn’t seen him himself until then, so far as Elysium - the furthest the prince had ever been, breathing fast, singed at the edges, and _bleeding_. And all of a sudden he had seemed so… so mortal. 

He hadn’t considered it until then. He was a god, wasn’t he? Like the rest of them. 

There was no reason to question it. They didn’t die, not really. Gods killed gods all the time. And then they would come back, quarrel again, and go back to killing each other. Thanatos never had to deal with that himself - the others generally steered clear of him, he thinks he made them nervous. And their lot in the underworld wasn’t as… excitable as the grand company up in the heavens. They didn’t talk nearly as much for it to turn into an argument. Except for Hypnos, but he slept so often that it balanced out.

But Zagreus, he could die. Who would be sent for him? Thanatos would be the one, wouldn’t he? Maybe he just wanted that to be the case. For it to be him. Because if it’s him and not someone else, it means it doesn’t have to be so awful. To wreak of war and violence. For it to be him, so he could see him again, touch him before he went completely cold.

Of course, he would come back, emerge unharmed, wipe the blood off his brow - tracking it on the carpet! again! before inevitably jumping back out his stupid window, hellbent as ever. Truly immortal or not, he’s too stubborn to stay dead. And as much as Zagreus makes double-edged remarks about him being a god of “nothing” there’s an inarguable _something_ about him. So powerful it must be divine. That ability he has to make anyone, anything seem full of life, even in the underworld. It was poetry worthy, the strange feeling it sparked in him. Like a curse that makes him float a little higher than he’s aware of, or suddenly as if he’s lost control and started phasing out of places without meaning to, as he had as a child. It makes him have to still his heart, beating too hard like he _uses_ it, and feel like an idiot all over again. He’s done something to him, to all of them. It’s like the melting snow giving way, a sprout breaching the earth, and he’s taken everyone and everything with him. The mark of a new age. Existence pre- and post- Zagreus.

Was he on one of his foolish campaigns now? Had he made it out already? No, he’d know if he was that close. He should go help him, if only for a moment. He could admit that there was a bit of a thrill to actually using that scythe of his against something that puts up a fight. It helps him get a little frustration out. Keeps him sharp. He’d get to hear Zagreus talk to him. Like they used to, but also like it could be the very last time.

Sure, he ruined absolutely everything, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. They really have been talking more than they have in quite a while. And everyone can agree that the whole underworld has been bursting with life. He's heard the cheers from Elysium. Thanatos secretly thinks the whole of the realm is rooting for him.

And really, he’s improving so fast, he’s seen it firsthand, how he rages through the chambers of the underworld, further and further every time. Better though he may be, he could always use a helping hand… he takes on so many of them and never takes a breath. Thanatos can take a break for a moment, can’t he? He has done this for eternity and will have eternity on to keep on doing so. Although he really does have a lot to do right now. 

But. _Alright._ Just this once.

**Author's Note:**

> not going to lie got medium-high and just kept thinking about what it is like to exist forever and ever and to not even question it coming to an end? i don't know if that makes any sense!!


End file.
